Friday, 28 February 2014

Of Man and Beast- Who is Noble and Who is Really The Beast?

First off I will warn you this is a mini to a moderate sized rant. It has been simmering for years and I have had little outbursts to unsuspecting people who happened to be in my company over time but lately I just feel so overwhelmingly frustrated and bewildered by man" kind" as of lately that I have to say it here for anyone who's bothered to read.

As a former very proud dog owner ( My darling Mr. Mo passed away at the ripe old age of 14 the summer before last, may his stinky self rest in peace.) I have a special appreciation for the unique bond between owner and pet. Nothing can quite replace that unconditional love a dog shows their owner (That said any of the seldom times that I dared eat a packet of pine nuts or rashers without sharing or didn't give Mo a neck rub QUITE long enough I received a mighty cold shoulder from him, so there actually might be a few conditions but love needs a few rules and boundaries really I guess!) So it completely breaks my heart every time I read or hear about the un-explainable animal cruelty that occurs, what seems more and more frequently, on our small island.

The late and great Mr. Mo & myself.

I have been following the Facebook page for Cork Dog Action Welfare Group over the past few months and I am absolutely blown away by the care and support that this page is filled with for the dogs found. So many well-wishers and foster families for the dogs help to support one another to keep fighting the good fight. The page also has highlighted the unmerciful cruelty that has been inflicted on these poor innocent creatures. Beaten, torture and mostly left for dead these poor mites are given a second chance by the wonderful people at DAWG. One notably is Fionn, the wonder dog, who has stolen my heart along with thousands of others. I have been following Fionn's story from the start where he was found by a walker who almost mistook him as just part of the pile of rubbish he was left for dead on. He was brutally beaten and tires were placed on top of him, it seems as though whoever put him there did not want there to be any chance for him to be saved. Due to the amazing work by DAWG, his foster mom, and the countless supporters that made extremely generous donations Fionn has made a miraculous recovery. His journey has been tough and by no means straightforward due to the extremity of his injuries that were inflicted by nothing more than a pathetic snivelling excuse of a person. (Link here for more on Fionn’s story.) Sadly there are many more like Fionn every day, many of them aren't as lucky as he to have been found and nursed back to health.

Photo Source:

What really makes me even angrier is how the people responsible get away with such monstrous actions. Even if they are caught they will serve little to no time for their crimes which absolutely shocks me as according to PETA and many other sources, research and study on psychology and criminology shows that people who commit acts of cruelty and violence against animals do not usually stop there, many move onto humans. Now I am by no means demeaning what I personally consider a gravely serious offence in its own right but if the justice system doesn't see it to be a huge crime by itself can they not take a look at what it could lead to by not taking precautions? Murderers often start out by killing animals, many of them as children but this does not mean that it is limited to a young age. Notorious serial killers such as the Boston Strangler and the BTK killer, among many others, both began their spree early on with their victims starting out as animals according to PETA. Studies undertaken by Cynthia Hodges, attorney with animal law practice and Australian Police both revealed that 100% of sexual homicide offenders examined had a history of animal cruelty. So why are these disgusting crimes not taken more seriously and being reflected by increasing sentences and implementing compulsory psychiatric counselling on those guilty?

The UK seems to have the same lenient sentencing. Trainee Solicitor Katy Gammon only received a measly 18 weeks jail time for purposely tying up and abandoning her boxer Roxy without food or water in an apartment. Her body was found 10 weeks later after dying of prolonged dehydration and starvation. This sickens me to my core that someone could be so deliberately cruel and indifferent to an animal's life.

Orphaned foal stands by its' mother's body. Photo source: The Independent.

In recent months it seems that the number of cases has grown rapidly. To mention but a few, two horses met the grisly demise, one was doused in petrol and lit on fire by a gang of young teens in Tallaght and another was kicked and beaten to death by a group of men in a Wicklow town leaving her defensless foal without a mother. All for a laugh right? I mean sure teenagers were probably rebelling and the men were too drunk, that’s not a psychotic thing to do at all, no sirey. The teens will probably grow out of it and the men must be family men underneath it all, best not ruin their lives for a silly "mistake" - This is probably what many try persuade themselves to think so not to face the reality that these are sadistic acts that will lead to further disgusting violence on more innocent animals and people, but sure as long as it’s not a pet they own or a person they love what does it matter! The more we the people and the law of our land sit idly by the worse it is going to get. To quote the words of Edmund Burke “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”.
A lovely selection of adorable "muttley crew" that has passed through the doors of DAWG

Friday, 31 January 2014

What's that word....? It's like how you say....really good or like imaginative.....damnit... *Something* Writing!

Once again I disappeared off the Blogosphere radar for a proportionate amount of time. This time , however, it was due to being side tracked by other writing projects! I swear. You will be happy to know that one of my SINCERE New Year’s Resolutions is to write at least one to two posts every month so everyone can breathe easy. I have no doubt that most of you were at least checking for updates weekly or hitting the refresh button continuously thinking something terrible had happened to me.

I'm back!

I have decided to dedicate the next couple of posts to creative writing, what I have learnt from my class and also my experience so far on the process of writing a piece. I am going to focus this piece on creative blocks.

For those that have read my post on procrastination, I was almost a professional at it by my final year in University. It turns out this dormant skill has not weakened since then, and almost every time I sat down to write my attention span reverted to that of Dory from Finding Nemo. In my defense, regular breaks are recommended when writing to keep the mind fresh and sharp. Although, I doubt I was supposed to take a break from my breaks. On the upside, my doodling skills have vastly improved. I have become the master of 3D boxes and triangles, and of course my favourite cheeky cartoon Koala bears.

One of my Koala Doodles

Many writers suffer creative blocks from time to time. These blocks can be short little annoyances or one big excruciatingly long frustration. There are many tricks and tips that can help with this:

Best solution yet!

The More the Merrier:
My absolute favourite piece of advice, of the many pieces imparted, that my creative writing teacher shared with me is to pour myself a large glass of wine. It’s amazing what taking the edge off can do. I am not by any means implying that to write well someone has to become a regular or heavy drinker. I just found that personally when suffering from an enraging block, being ever so slightly buzzed helped sentences flow easier and made me less critical of what I was trying to say and how I was saying it. A little bit less afraid of sounding stupid, even to myself. To paraphrase a dear family member, after my vat of wine I was most certainly the funniest person at the table. It’s definitely not hard when I’m the only person at said table!


Find a Happy Place:
Your favourite cup of tea or juice drink will also work just as well. I am partial to drinking tea for early morning writing sessions as I just don’t think I’m that “absolutely fabulous” to have wine at this hour. I also don’t think I could ever be that hard-core or more my liver could be. Only time will tell. The essence of this piece of advice is to indulge yourself by drinking or eating things that you enjoy. Get comfortable, put on some of your favourite music, sit back and relax. A positive mind set along with a positive setting is key.

Good Idea?

Practice, Practice, Practice:
It’s important to keep working on your craft even when you find yourself in a block. Write for 15 minutes at the same time of day every day regardless of what it is, if it is grammatically correct or not is irrelevant, can really do wonders. It is amazing what you can come up with when just messing around and writing what you might think of as gibberish. An idea can spark from a simple sentence. Do not put yourself under unnecessary pressure to write your piece perfectly at first attempt. It is highly unlikely that it will happen. Even the pieces that you think are perfect, come the morning light, on second reading sentence structures can be clumsy and grammar can be shady. This is absolutely fine because that is what having drafts and editing is for. It is important to silence the inner critic at least for your first draft. Give yourself a chance! You are not an English teacher or sitting the leaving cert for crying out loud! Unless you are in fact either of those, in which you must be far better than the rest of us and your work will never be good enough.

Don't mind if I do!

Imagination Super Highway:
My lecturer advised for those with particularly bad cases of block to play a game of “Let’s pretend”. If your desk is facing a window look outside at the buildings across from it. Allow yourself to imagine what is going on behind those doors. (It helps if you don’t know the people very well!) Imagine the door opens up and a person comes out- who are they, why are they there? It’s amazing what your mind can build. Don’t be afraid, just run with it. So far I have found myself living across from a serial murderer, a family of ghosts, a squirrel couple who are breaking up because of a nut addiction (his not hers surprisingly!) and a mastermind villainous cat (he's actually real).

Said Villainous cat.
Change of Scene:
Going for a long walk or taking a bath can also be really helpful for pondering stories. Let the mind wander and use your senses. Also, I found my beloved doodling is mighty helpful. Sketching out potential characters or settings then looking at them while trying to describe them. Figure out the when, the where, the who and the why. I even ended up drawing a dreaded spider diagram which I had hoped I left long behind me with my college days. I weaved intricate webs of places and characters, associating words with them and what they are to each other. I made them multi-coloured for fun(!) 

The heart wants, what the heart wants!

Hopefully this little outburst was in somewhat helpful or at least semi amusing to someone. While I focused predominantly on writing in this piece I find that these little tips also work really well when it comes to art and music.  At the very least I will fast become a professional doodler.

There's always room for a pun!

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

10 Things I Have Learned in Dublin

It has been about a year and a half since I last posted  on my blog, so this is way overdue. A lot has changed since my previous post where I wrote of my expectations of life after University.  A lot of realities have been "checked" since I have moved up to Dublin city and bagged myself a grown up job. I only thought it fair to share some possibly helpful theories and tips I have learned so far in my transition into what those slick Hollywood cats call the "real world".

1. Renting
Renting a place in your first few weeks after your move up to the big smoke is top priority.  The Daft app becomes your new best friend but a kind of slutty gossipy best friend, that is also best friends with hundreds of other green workers just like you. So when you think it has shared a dream place that no one else has heard about, round the corner you turn and in the queue ahead of you is at least 30 other overly eager albeit slightly desperate faces clutching letters and cheques dressed in their "working professional" best.
 Trying to rent a place in Dublin is like being a cow in a cattle mart. If cows had to bring two references, be willing to pay extra, were extremely punctual and good at running around an apartment very quickly while also making desperate promises such as "Yes I will cut the grass weekly, I love cutting the grass"...Actually now that I think of that last one, a cow would be fantastic at this.

"Ah she will make a fine tenant. Good references and a healthy coat!"

2. House Mates
After securing that dream place now comes the minor detail of actually having enough people to rent the rooms. Finding a house mate to fill said empty room is like entering into the world of online dating.  The usual fears of catfish and the Craig's list killer loom as you trawl through the various profiles of self proclaimed "neat freaks" (i.e.: takes the bin out every other month) and "chilled out chicks" (until you use the end of their milk that is, then you better hide your rabbit if you have one!) However, you will eventually find someone who likes competitive sport, or sales shopping as it were that will end up dressing you so you can pass off as a slick adult type thing on occasion. Very nice altogether!

This is not the Craig's List Killer, but still quite scary.

Money is eaten by rent and bill gremlins, and boy are they hungry! They will just eat and eat and keep grabbing more, even out of your trusty saving account that you may have once thought of as a safe haven. That lovely salary we all thought would keep us in endless nights out, trips away and clothes is eaten up and whatever is spat back out allows us to comfort eat our way through the month, until there is nothing left on the final week before pay day but a taster board of 20 cent noodles and beans on toast. Delicious, right?

What can I say, bloody Gremlins!

4. Grocery Shopping
Weekly combined shops become a stress that is quickly discarded. Crisis talks that breakdown in the middle of a shopping aisle on whether to buy fruit and veg in Tesco or Lidl are not worth a friendship. Once again this is down to those bloody gremlins- Enough said.

Accurate re-enactment of a grocery shopping melt down.

5. Working with people from different backgrounds
 You will work with people that didn't study the same course as you. Imagine such a thing! People that studied computers and design. Such crazy, eccentric, daredevil topics compared to ....*cough*...Commerce. What a big bad world it is after all. I remember exclaiming in my own little mind "WHAT?! YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T GO THROUGH YEARS OF OUTDATED THEORETICAL MANAGEMENT STUDIES OR STATISTICS THAT YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD? HOW EVER CAN YOU FUNCTION IN THE REAL WORLD?!"

A world outside Commerce, the possibilities!

6. Electricity
Electricity is measure in units. This is something I knew already. However, don't trust your bills at just a glance. If the amount seems to be more than manageable and your household does not sit around the same candle reading, then it may be too good to be true. A faulty meter can be the death of any remaining money that escaped the gremlins and even if it was the company's error they will still come after you like a man dressed in white with a big butterfly net.

"Everyone gather round the candle and
I will read to you the latest Breaking Bad Episode!"

7. Day Length
The days are shorter in the Pale. Especially week nights, there never seems to be enough time to get anything done or go anywhere after work. I don't know it may be some weird time zone thing, I will keep you posted if I figure it out.

There are rumblings that this may be the reason ..

8. Socialising
Going out on a school night has serious re-precautions. The fear monster has a much greater hold of people after college, especially when working in an office full-time. Something about pride of work has been rumoured to be behind it.  Be warned, do not go out before kitting your bedside up with a pint of Dioralyte and Barroca for the morning.


9. Procrastination
 While being pushed by the world to become a proper fully functioning adult there are plenty of fun things to procrastinate with in Dublin. So far this year instead of working on my C.V. and becoming more well rounded "grown up wise"  I have taken an amazing Hula hoop workshop, become zen for about 8 weeks through Yoga classes (it really disappears once you stop!), made my very own Space Invader at the fantastic Mabos studios, fed the ducks more than I care to admit (I may have Jamie Oliver on my case for causing an overweight duck epidemic if I am not careful!) and also watched an insane amount of television series online where each time I have become too invested in the characters. Except for Revolution, I did not care for that one bit.

My lovely attempt at a Space Invader!

10. The Immersion
This isn't really a helpful tip or thought but definitely something I have learned since living up in Dublin. I now know what an Immersion is and the grave consequences of leaving it on. Which I think makes me a lot more Irish than before I moved up, which is strange.

The Immersion, a source of tension in many an Irish house.

Has anyone any gems that they have learned since leaving college, moving out of home or moving away?

Thursday, 22 March 2012

So that little issue about the rest of my life....

4 years have gone by too fast. Some great times, some strange times and some miserably broke times (Thank you final year for that last one!). All together making up a unique experience that we'll never be able to really truly recreate again. Which is sad in more ways that I can say. However, there's still some brilliant things to come and I have decided instead of wallowing and fretting over things not done in the past  I'm going to highlight the good things (and turning the any bad things into good things, mind over matter people!) of  being tossed out into this distorted reality that people have dubbed the "real world."

Laters UCC !
My Student Card expires on the 30th of September. This thought terrifies me nearly more than my future job prospects. No more discounts or special treatment. Full price trains (seriously one needs to take out a mini mortgage to afford them regularly!) However, lets turn this into a positive and see it as an extra incentive to completely exploit it until then! It also gives us "the fear", to quote Chandler from friends "You need the fear", to find a job so we will earn enough money to not miss that wonderful card's perks that much.

Please mister don't take my card from me!

No job lined up? Brilliant! Unless you are becoming a teacher, this is your LAST proper long summer  off. It's the perfect time to do nothing serious or proactive for your future! Say yes to pyjama days, day time drinking, every sort of festival/gig, trips away, cooking everything in your (friends) house and watching hours/days of trashy day time TV!All in all a pretty sweet lazy summer. If you are stuck for things to do please click here for my post about procrastination!

*Disclaimer:Some sort of part time job/funding may be required to attend fun things like festivals or go anywhere but your house.

Sunshine, skateboards & balance may not be included.

Casual drinking will become standard and not frowned upon. While we are students and do this people just grumble about how we are wasters and disgraceful drunks. However, once we enter the working world, add some sort of power suit and a work phone glued to our ear people will know that this, albeit very large, drink has been earned and they will clearly be awstruck by how hard we must work.

Two approaches can be taken for this:

The first is the large bottle and  equally large glass combination more fitting to the "Tough day, don't talk to me" scenario.

No nonsense approach.

The second is slightly more delicate and more organised in appearance, whereby like the underwear of the day you may have had as a child, your china cups are mark by the beverage they should be used. This can show "classiness" and "superiority" etc.

Bringing some manners into the affair.

Moving out and into our own home. As much as  I like living at home I'm really looking forward to having my very own place and space with friends...Now this doesn't necessarily only apply to those of us who live at home as I am sure there will be serious upscaling with regards quality for those of you who are already "independent".

All the travel opportunities once we're employed or have finally found some miraculous funding will be brilliant. For me nothing is better than the feeling of packing a bag and flying off to somewhere full of new exciting experiences! Some might say growing up means becoming more restricted or tied down but just think about it positively, that limited amount of time off available can make anyone become more proactive in organizing weekend breaks and carefully booking those elusive few holiday weeks. On top of this the chance to travel on business trips will be amazing- On top of this how fantastically important does that sound? Also if you are anything like myself, it will be a chance to let your well worn back packs and rucksacks from eons ago retire and replace it with something that is not from the Supervalu special stamp offer of the 90's.

Hat boxes, yay or nay?

Becoming more mobile. This will mean many different things for each of us. For some it might be buying our first car, for others it will be upgrading, maybe even getting a company car. At the end of it all in all it will be  more chance of adventure and more freedom...Speaking of I should really get my full licence..

Nothing quite like throwing on a pair of doggles and jumping into the side car!

I realise I may sound very naiive and roughly about 8 years old at how impressed I am by all of this but sure that's what rose tinted glasses are for. I don't care really, because after 18 years of continuous education I have almost completed my third and final level (for now) and am on the brink of entering into the "real" working world which is what we are have been working towards all along, am I right?

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Things to perk up a dull week...

Last week I went to two fantastic events that really livened up what would otherwise be a very dull, overworked typical week in final year. (Sidenote: There are less than two weeks left of classes what sort of mind f*ck is that?!)

The first event was a talk given by the two front women, Emilie Sobels & Maddie Raedts, of Fashiolista. Fashiolista for those of you who may not know is the biggest online fashion community in the world. It's like a combination of Tumblr and Facebook whereby members can compile a sort of scrapbook and  share with others their personal fashion lusts that they come across on the net. A massive bonus of course,but not to any form of bank savings/credit card you may have, is that the site gives you links to where you can purchase these amazing items!  These ladies graciously gave us time out of their busy schedule (They have just finished a hectic few weeks working some of the biggest Fashion Weeks, green is not even the word!) to fill us in on the inner-workings of the online Fashion Community from both a Blogger and Business perspective. They are two truly inspirational business women managing to balance full time college and running their international company, feel free to join me in feeling like an underachiever!

The second event that really made my week finish with a bang was none other than the Scroobius Pip gig held in Cyprus Avenue on Sunday. Scroobius was his ever boss self with his infamous beard and truckerhat ( he also had a shark backpack thats now on my want list). Special guest  funny man American rapper  B Dolan  (has been quoted to say “I’m famous in the US. It goes 50 Cent, Lil Wayne, me, then everyone else…but don’t Wikipedia it”.) and up and coming singer Natasha Fox  added to the mix to make the entire show completely electric. I honestly can say that it was the best gig I have been to in a while. Each of these performers are ridiculously talented with natural born charisma: Combined, they create a chemistry that cannot be faked and an unforgetable show that left the audience in a state of complete euphoria (The steins at The Abbott's Ale House beforehand might have had a little to do with that but who knows really!).

Scroobius & Dolan

 What really made it for me was being able to finally see Scroobius perform my favourite song "The Struggle".The entire crowd errupted, like completly lost it, when everyone heard the first few beats!   On top of many spectacular performances of their own material the group treated us to some great interaction throughout. A specially mention needs to made  about a hilarious dance off between Dolan and a randomer from the audience in which he performed a spoken word piece trash talking her, this got the crowd more than warmed up. Last but not least a fantastic Prince cover was performed by the trio to wind the whole thing down. Massive thumbs up in my books on all accounts. I do realise that I've far from set out the set list, discussed what songs were played or not played or even put any of what happened at the gig in order of occurance but then I guess if you really wanted to know what it was like you should have gone to see them!Or hopefully this ramble will encourage you to in the near future!

Prince cover from Sunday night! :)

Aside from warming up for Paddy's day at the fantastic Cheltenham Races Day at The Bowery I have a quiet week ahead of me which means I can finally catch up on the second half of The Walking Dead season two. So help me if one more person ruins anymore plot twists or character deaths I will brain them! (ha nice mistaken pun if I do say so myself!)

Sunday, 4 March 2012

To Blue Steel or not to Blue Steel, that is the question.

So many of you may already know that I took part in this years UCC's Next Top Model. Sadly I did not win but I did learn a lot and more importantly I laughed a lot during my time as a contestant.

All of us at the final!

First off before anyone asks no it was nothing like the reality show America's Next Top Model. We did not get cooped up under one roof or have extreme "edgy" hair cuts inflicted upon us, there was no intense weekly rounds where one of us was sent packing for smiling with our eyes like this and not like this. (After watching 12 variations of seasons I still do not know what our girl Tyra means!) My experience in the competition, organised by Lockdown Models and the UCC Fashion Society , was to sum up in a word: fun.

I mean what's not to like?! Not only was everyone involved extremely nice, some down right hilarious, but also within every photo-shoot I was transformed into a completely different character.  Upstyle Junkie beautifully transformed my face and the crew at Origin Hair Design  gave me some of the most amazing and creative hairstyles I never would have imagined having. As a girl with hair straighter and flatter than a...well lets say ruler, the Afro they created for the punk rock shoot was by far my favourite! I have never had so much volume in my life!

Punk Rock shoot in the Pavillion

The photographer Miki Barlok created some truly amazing themes for our photo shoots and the settings were fantastic. He was a great teacher and really set the scene for the moments we were to portray during the shoots. The only problem was getting out of the mindset and returning back to college and the dreary library after each time! Adding in the acting and catwalk workshops the whole experience was a very bright and cheery break from the never ending mountain of final year projects!

Vintage shoot with Miss Daisy Blue

Now onto the amazing clothes. Throughout the photo-shoots we had some great exposure to many beautiful clothing labels, such as Miss Daisy Blue, and some truly brilliant stylists. However, nothing could have prepared me for the mind blowingly exquisite outfits that were provided for us at the final on Thursday night. They were really out of this world and what was such a lovely surprise was that they were all from local clothes shops here in Cork. I have always been a massive fan of many of those involved, having spent many hours wandering around AmityTurquoise Flamingo and Miss Daisy Blue. I now look forward to adding Vanilla Boutique and Elsa& Gogo Boutique to my list of shopping haunts!

One of the many amazing dresses from Turquoise Flamingo

The final for the competition flew by in a haze of excitement and nerves. The nerves mainly caused by a certain lovely person asking "But Sandra are you not afraid you'll be the girl that trips and falls on the catwalk that everyone pities?!"  Images of me becoming  like Carrie Bradshaw a.k.a. catwalk roadkill (but without the witty or intelligent hindsight) and my bigger fear not being able to get back up in one go upon falling, kept flashing across my mind. Thankfully my visions did not come true!

I still cannot believe it's all over and I run the risk of people running away from me should I keep repeating my stories over and over again. So I guess this is what this post is: A goodbye to a fantastic experience with many brilliant and amazing people who made the whole competition better than I could have ever imagined. The competition may be over, but hopefully I will have the opportunity  to work (and of course socialize) with the amazing winner Aishling Kearney; the gang that entered with me; and the organizers in the future.

P.S.: I didn't pull the blue steel.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

I'm going to write all of this in one go, first just let me log into *insert online distraction here*

This  is my fifth attempt at writing this post, so I think it is only fitting that I dedicate it to the art of procrastination. Even at this final attempt I have managed to delay  amuse myself for a solid forty minutes checking all my email accounts; signing into Facebook  and having a good look about; signing into Twitter to find out undoubtably important updates from my friends/ celebrities who have not one clue who I am; signing into Tumblr and reblogging a few photos while day dreaming about actually going to some of those amazing places/ having the guts to dye my hair the same colour as * insert tumblr idol of the minute* ; going on stumble upon then stumbling upon a giant clock which has lead me back to the actual reason I went online- my post!

Dogs diving under water by Casteel found this beaut on Tumblr!

Now if like myself you feel that before have you even started any sort of dreary college work that you have already earned a good long break but also want to feel like you're doing something never fear follow these steps and you can put off doing whatever thing that is about as appealing as eating a raw onion until at least tomorrow!

Firstly, check all your emails, I mean read all of them. Every single one, even the very impersonal ones from random companies that manage to misspell your  name. After this, make sure to log into Facebook. Go through your news feed for updates and then keep scrolling back into parts you already looked at, make sure you didn't miss anything no matter how mundane. Completing this and a bit of cyber creeping, a fantastic idea is to go through an old album or two, now make sure they are really good ones like say that time you lived in New York so you can torture yourself  for a solid 20 to 30 minutes!

Another tip:Make sure to block people you do not want to talk to, ever.

When you tire of crying over your life that you no longer have since final year I suggest the next thing you do is to sign into Twitter and keep your followers updated on your lack of motivation and successful procrastination skills, they will no doubt be very impressed! Now you may start to panic over the lack of work you have completed regarding college, don't worry! If you multi-task by signing into Tumblr and start creating a mood board you will genuinely feel like you are achieving something! On top of this you can learn random and fun (really cute) facts such as below.

If you started your super productive day early in the morning this will have at least taken you up until 11am so you will definitely have earned one of many tea breaks. Ensure that you make an elaborate snack for yourself. After all if you don't eat properly you won't have the energy to be productive later.
 Once you've filled yourself to the point of a food coma and caught up on a few day time TV reruns get straight to work and try get inspiration by reading everyone you know's Blog. Motivational pieces are always great at making you feel better about tomorrow. Tomorrow you will certainly get things done.

Check out 60's Spiderman memes! Thank you Mike McLaughlin

Once you have grown tired from all that heavy reading, lighten up your day by Googling some Memes, this could lead you back onto Facebook, in the form of UCC Memes, or Tumblr which has an abundance of hilarious pictures that "totally get you".

After you have become sufficiently self assured, why not do something a little more active? Something that if you were asked to do you would revert back to the start of this clearly organised list. I choose washing my dog! Let me assure you that it is like trying to convince a gorilla to willingly get inside a bird cage- Near impossible. However, should you successfully attempt to complete a difficult task such as this I guarantee you will have pride in your proactive nature. Make sure, if you are as proud as me over your difficult task, that you take a photo and share it on your Blog or Twitter!

A good hours work right here!

I expect you will be quite tired by now, why not take a well deserved lunch/nap break? Again,  make sure to put plenty of time and effort into making your lunch. Once you have finished, take a well earned nap on the couch. There's no point trying to start work when you are tired. You will really just be wasting your day and we can't have that can we!

After your nap, read everything in the house. I mean everything! Books are fantastic, if they are lying around make sure to read them cover to cover. Especially if you have read them before, at least you know you will like them AND try find hidden meanings while your at it. Once you've read all the books you have at your disposal commence reading everything else- the old classic cereal box, shampoo bottles, milk bottles, chocolate bars- you are only being a responsible consumer by doing so and also becoming well informed and enlightened. 

I have realized I may have lost you at the book stage as you are probably still trying to decide which book to read. Good job, you have probably occupied at least 20 minutes of your time. I suggest if you have never read Ross O' Carroll Kelly's books, read them. I mean ALL of 13 of them. If you have, you must have done this before so well done you are on your way to becoming pro at procrastinating. Make sure to keep updated on all his tweets. Also, he writes a column for the Irish Times so be a good fan and catch up on any articles you may have missed out on.

Ross:  At least 3 forms of distraction from only one character

By now it is most likely after 8 at night and well lets face it, you're not going to get anything  else worthwhile done! In fairness you have had a really busy and productive day, you've earned a night lazing in front of the television.