Thursday, 23 February 2012

I'm going to write all of this in one go, first just let me log into *insert online distraction here*

This  is my fifth attempt at writing this post, so I think it is only fitting that I dedicate it to the art of procrastination. Even at this final attempt I have managed to delay  amuse myself for a solid forty minutes checking all my email accounts; signing into Facebook  and having a good look about; signing into Twitter to find out undoubtably important updates from my friends/ celebrities who have not one clue who I am; signing into Tumblr and reblogging a few photos while day dreaming about actually going to some of those amazing places/ having the guts to dye my hair the same colour as * insert tumblr idol of the minute* ; going on stumble upon then stumbling upon a giant clock which has lead me back to the actual reason I went online- my post!

Dogs diving under water by Casteel found this beaut on Tumblr!

Now if like myself you feel that before have you even started any sort of dreary college work that you have already earned a good long break but also want to feel like you're doing something never fear follow these steps and you can put off doing whatever thing that is about as appealing as eating a raw onion until at least tomorrow!

Firstly, check all your emails, I mean read all of them. Every single one, even the very impersonal ones from random companies that manage to misspell your  name. After this, make sure to log into Facebook. Go through your news feed for updates and then keep scrolling back into parts you already looked at, make sure you didn't miss anything no matter how mundane. Completing this and a bit of cyber creeping, a fantastic idea is to go through an old album or two, now make sure they are really good ones like say that time you lived in New York so you can torture yourself  for a solid 20 to 30 minutes!

Another tip:Make sure to block people you do not want to talk to, ever.

When you tire of crying over your life that you no longer have since final year I suggest the next thing you do is to sign into Twitter and keep your followers updated on your lack of motivation and successful procrastination skills, they will no doubt be very impressed! Now you may start to panic over the lack of work you have completed regarding college, don't worry! If you multi-task by signing into Tumblr and start creating a mood board you will genuinely feel like you are achieving something! On top of this you can learn random and fun (really cute) facts such as below.

If you started your super productive day early in the morning this will have at least taken you up until 11am so you will definitely have earned one of many tea breaks. Ensure that you make an elaborate snack for yourself. After all if you don't eat properly you won't have the energy to be productive later.
 Once you've filled yourself to the point of a food coma and caught up on a few day time TV reruns get straight to work and try get inspiration by reading everyone you know's Blog. Motivational pieces are always great at making you feel better about tomorrow. Tomorrow you will certainly get things done.

Check out 60's Spiderman memes! Thank you Mike McLaughlin

Once you have grown tired from all that heavy reading, lighten up your day by Googling some Memes, this could lead you back onto Facebook, in the form of UCC Memes, or Tumblr which has an abundance of hilarious pictures that "totally get you".

After you have become sufficiently self assured, why not do something a little more active? Something that if you were asked to do you would revert back to the start of this clearly organised list. I choose washing my dog! Let me assure you that it is like trying to convince a gorilla to willingly get inside a bird cage- Near impossible. However, should you successfully attempt to complete a difficult task such as this I guarantee you will have pride in your proactive nature. Make sure, if you are as proud as me over your difficult task, that you take a photo and share it on your Blog or Twitter!

A good hours work right here!

I expect you will be quite tired by now, why not take a well deserved lunch/nap break? Again,  make sure to put plenty of time and effort into making your lunch. Once you have finished, take a well earned nap on the couch. There's no point trying to start work when you are tired. You will really just be wasting your day and we can't have that can we!

After your nap, read everything in the house. I mean everything! Books are fantastic, if they are lying around make sure to read them cover to cover. Especially if you have read them before, at least you know you will like them AND try find hidden meanings while your at it. Once you've read all the books you have at your disposal commence reading everything else- the old classic cereal box, shampoo bottles, milk bottles, chocolate bars- you are only being a responsible consumer by doing so and also becoming well informed and enlightened. 

I have realized I may have lost you at the book stage as you are probably still trying to decide which book to read. Good job, you have probably occupied at least 20 minutes of your time. I suggest if you have never read Ross O' Carroll Kelly's books, read them. I mean ALL of 13 of them. If you have, you must have done this before so well done you are on your way to becoming pro at procrastinating. Make sure to keep updated on all his tweets. Also, he writes a column for the Irish Times so be a good fan and catch up on any articles you may have missed out on.

Ross:  At least 3 forms of distraction from only one character

By now it is most likely after 8 at night and well lets face it, you're not going to get anything  else worthwhile done! In fairness you have had a really busy and productive day, you've earned a night lazing in front of the television. 


  1. Spidey Memes are DEFINITELY one I can appreciate. Where did you stumble across such a delightful waste of time? :)

  2. hahaha! ...Check under the picture I credited you!

  3. Lol i love fry! that nap things is so true

  4. Glad to hear I'm not the only one! Thanks for reading! It's scary how good I have become at perfecting procrastination! Might try making a motivation board...

  5. Is that mojo in the shower?? silly mojo, he thinks he's people!

  6. Love the way you mix funny stuff from t internet with your articles, loadsa fun to read

  7. Heres a clock I think was made just for you!... Of course I came across it on stumbleupon myself but the less said about my procrastinating the better:)

  8. Story of my life... Had no internet in college on my laptop for a day or two recently- needless to say I lasted very little time in there!

  9. Mojo is taking his person status to ridiculous new heights! :)

    Thanks guys it's great that so many people identify with this so much It's quite funny how much time everyone spends procrastinating! Imagine concentrating solely on one thing, the idea baffles me at this point!

  10. I ususally take a break after every three lines to refresh my facebook news feed! haha!

  11. I have to stop myself from going onto facebook, cos you just keep checking it to see if any new has happened. And i love some the UCC memes there always great fun

  12. I was considering quitting Facebook for lent but...well I never got around to it! Next year sure...