But what if I forget my house keys??

To use the famous and vastly used quote "When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did." As of late I have been taking this completely on board in many aspects of my life that I have previously been too scared to even attempt. Certain things like even trying out modelling which I used to scoff at when people suggested it to me and not because I thought it stupid or a vapid activity to take part in but because I guess I didn't take myself seriously and was really too much of a chicken to take a risk and be judged.



Now before anyone thinks I'm about to go on a big long ramble about how great I am now that I'm taking chances on myself I will tackle the main issue at hand: While I'm certainly trying more things than ever before and woo hoo for that - this year has got me slightly petrified. It's not the final year workload, which is almost a full time job in itself, but the fact that not only do I have to do that but I also have to plan the rest of my life (well next year at the very least) while I'm at it!

More and more Curious as to what lies ahead 

Which is ridiculous as I have been looking forward to independence and freedom for as long as I can remember. Nothing excited me more than the prospect that in a short few years I could be working and living in one of the many exciting and vibrant cities in the world! I spent hours day dreaming about all the new things I would experience. However, now that I have mountains of lots of little yet significant decisions pending and applications to fill in I find myself suddenly appreciating how jammy I have it living at home as a college student.



Before anyone thinks I am some sort of spoiled over-mothered brat, I am extremely self sufficient and have dreamed about my own place since I was little: Call it middle child syndrome if you will! However, more and more as of late irrational fears about moving away are randomly creeping into my mind. Over dramatic thoughts such as what if I forget my keys and end up being locked out of my house forever?? What if the neighbours cat sneaks into my place and smothers me??

My hypothetical neighbour's cat is clearly out to get me

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I've drawn the conclusion that this part of my brain must be a close cousin to the one that like to play tricks on me when I'm either home alone or after watching a scary movie, and about as much good to myself and my big plans as a chocolate tea pot: Very amusing but in no way helps me achieve my goal.